Monday, January 14, 2013

My Christian Faith: Part IV (My Life)

Myspace here I come. If anyone remembers Myspace you could put your zip code and search for people in a certain geographic area. So I searched within 20 miles of Wingdale looking for friends and maybe something more. I got back in touch with many friends from school but didn't find anyone I would consider a romantic relationship with. One Sunday I remember expanding my search to 50 miles and a profile popped up for someone which stated they were from Brooklyn. It was a little far I thought but something attracted me to this profile so I sent him a friend request. Within the hour we were friends chatting. He just happened to be from Brooklyn/Yonkers, NY but was currently in the Army National Guard in Fort Leonard-wood, Missouri.

I had some errands to run so I told him I would talk to him later that evening. We chatted for 4 hours that night, exchanging cell phone numbers even. This was February 3rd I remember. We spoke on line, by phone, text and though letters until he returned to NY on February 20, 2008. Against my mother and sons advice I chose to be the one to pick him up at the airport. Now he really didn't have any place to go since he was recently divorced while in Missouri still, so I brought him home.

Now remember my mom still lives with me and I have moved in someone that I literally just met. Fernando also happens to be very strict with the kids too, my kids were not used to this. I was always very easy on them, somewhat felt sorry that the mistakes I made were now causing them to be brought up without their fathers in the home. Mom was extremely unhappy with this choice I made and how Fernando would yell at kids that were not his. This caused a lot of friction between my mom and I to the point I asked her to please move out, which in turn started a big mess.

Looking back the whole thing was not handled in the right way and I am very sorry for things that were said and done during that time period. I knew all along that Fernando and I were meant to be together and wasn't going to let anything get in the way. I am glad we are still together and we were able to salvage the relationship with my mom, but it took a long time. There was a lot going on at that time that involved some others that I am not going to get into; it was a bad time for all of us.

A few months later I received a call at work from Fernando who was stuttering and didn't know why. With my background as an EMT, I unfortunately did know why but the cause I did not. He was having a TIA (or mini-stroke) at 36 years old. After a three day hospital stay, many doctor visits and tests they still did not know why. Maybe Multiple Sclerosis, Lyme Disease? Finally a new neurologist did a special blood test, “this is rare but I want to verify that it is not the reason for your condition.” Six weeks later, results are in. “You have Cadasil.” Cadasil is a rare genetic condition with no cure or treatment available. The only treatment is to treat the symptoms and treat with blood thinners like any other stroke victim. I won't get into the whole disease and other symptoms that we eventually realized are probably caused by Cadasil also.

Fernando and I both were shocked at the diagnosis but dealt in different ways. Fernando got angry and depressed with the knowledge he could have a major stroke and die at any time really and that there was a chance that he could pass to his daughter. I on the other hand was always strong in his presence but cried and felt sorry for myself when at work. My thoughts, “How can this be happening? I finally am happy and he could be taken away from me.” Fernando has suffered through many TIA's as well as 2 full strokes that left him with a leg that is not quite as strong as it used to be but with that said it could be much worse.

Through the years we have both grown. We have definitely had our trials and tribulations but have forged through and continue to do so.....

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