I have no intentions on boring you with
my memoirs or an auto-biography; I just want to give an idea of the
type of life I have lived, the trials I have endured bringing me to
find Christ. I'm also not going to say I have lived a horrible life
because I didn't, but while going through the situation you may feel
like it is the most awful thing imaginable.
I do not remember too much until I was
probably around 5 or 6 living in Vista, New York. I lived with my
parents and younger brother, Robert. After my grandfather passed, my
grandmother (Nanny) came to stay with us also. Eventually we moved
from Vista to Pound Ridge into my grandmothers old home when I was
about 9 (1982 or so). Now by that year, it was pretty much unheard
of; at least in Westchester, New York for a home to not have what
most would consider simple necessities. I'm speaking of running
water, bathrooms, and heat especially. Well, our home had none of
them.
We got our water from an outside well
house where you took a bucket attached to a chain and lowered it into
a well (hole) in the ground and pulled up the water. Honestly it
tasted great but washing dishes and taking a bath was not easy. We
had to heat the water on the stove and fill basins to wash and rinse
dishes and take sponge baths. The bathroom consisted of a commode
behind a shower curtain, and heat came from kerosene heaters.
Any idea how much ridicule you get from
other kids at school and on the school bus that happen to know about
your living situation? Play dates, what? Thankfully we had
neighbors that moved in with two girls (Brenda & Donna) my age and a younger sister (Michelle).
We all became the best of friends, and still are to this day. Now
besides the living situation, I was always on the heavy side. At
that time school bullying was pretty bad when it came to kids that
were not the norm for weight or happen to be on the poor side. I
suffered bullying from nursery school through I think 9th
grade when I finally decided to start sticking up for myself.
High school was much better. I had my
first boyfriend in 9th grade, the relationship only lasted
about 2 months or so, I wasn't ready for anything serious yet. Sorry
Kenyon, I didn't mean to hurt you without an explanation. Tenth
grade, school was good considering I barely went to class. Cutting
classes hanging in the smoking area or girls bathroom was the life.
I even was able to keep decent grades considering. New boyfriend and
drivers license by 11th grade. Even though I was able to
keep passing grades in my regular classes, I was still over weight
and gym class was an absolute no go. So by mid year I realized there
was no way I would graduate without the credits needed for physical
education and I chose to drop out of school. My school district
(Bedford Central School) paid for me to finish my computer sciences
class and take a GED class at BOCES which I completed and passed in
June 1991. I then chose to go directly to a 2 year business college,
which again I dropped out of like an idiot with only 2 classes left
for an Associates Degree in Business Management.
While still in college by high school
boyfriend proposed, after about a year I realized I still wasn't
ready for that kind of commitment. Louis, I also apologize for
hurting you the way I did. Still living with my parents in that same
house, I joined the Vista Volunteer Fire Department and became an
Emergency Medical Technician. I loved it, but again I screwed up. I
was the treasurer of the Woman's Auxiliary of the fire department and
thought it would be a good idea to “borrow” a few thousand
dollars. Well they had an audit and caught me before I was able to
re-pay all of it. Thankfully my parents paid back what I had taken
and they did not press charges against me; but they did make me
resign from the fire department.
OK, now I am 18 and made a mess out of
my life so far. I dated a few guys and ended up moving in with one
of them. Now I look back, I probably just wanted out of that
house.......
.
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